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0421 – Former Scottish First Minister Alex Salmond loses his seat of Gordon to the Tories. As Ruth Davidson continues a cracking night, no more soleros for Salmond in the Commons cafe.
0417 – Kuennsberg checks the oracle (her phone) and sees rumours of beginnings of plots against Theresa May. Deja Vu here – remember the day of resignations last time?
0414 – Does Jacob Rees-Mogg now hold the record for the world’s largest rosette?
0402 – Osborne twists the knife – “Running through a wheatfield is no longer the worst thing Theresa May has ever done”. He’s one Tory enjoying himself tonight.
0400 – SDLP have lost all their seats in Northern Ireland. We may not realise it here, but that’s a massive change there. The SDLP have been a part of Northern Irish politics since 1970 and could this see them slip away from the Assembly too?
0355 – Theresa May pulled over for speeding
0349 – Peter Kellner makes an interesting point about vote shares – the Tory vote share will historically be actually very good. Labour are improving as well though and getting votes just where they need them.
0339 – “It’s a long night ahead” is always code for I’ve taken a hammering. Alex Salmond looks like a loser.
0332 – After doing very little so far, the Lib Dems have begun to collect seats including Twickenham, Bath and now Eastbourne.
0327 – She gets a setback though, with the BBC downgrading the Tory total to 318.
0324 – Theresa May says country “needs a period of stability” could she resign after a while? Another election?
0320 – Declaration for Theresa May STILL going.
0319 – The SDLP lose Belfast South to the DUP, their second loss of the night – could they be wiped out?
0318 – Theresa May gives her rival Lord Buckethead a pasting.
0310 – Corbyn talks of people “turning their backs on austerity”. He’s definitely done very well tonight, but his argument will be undermined if the Tories do eventually reach 326. Would be a very muddled outcome.
0308 – Sir Eric Pickles with spot on analysis.
0255 – Conservatives make their first gain from Labour at Walsall North which was held with a majority of just under 2,000. This must be one of the least uniform elections ever.
0247 – Can understand why.
0244 – Nick Clegg arrives at his count. Managing to look even sadder than he did in 2015.
0240 – An actual child gains East Renfrewshire for the Tories. Might the Tories crawl over 326…
0230 – Conservatives gain Southport from the Lib Dems. That was expected but remarkably the Lib Dems are currently on -1.
0221 – Slight twist in the tale, Curtice has updated his forecast to read 322 seats for the Tories, just short of an overall majority and would be enough for the working majority winning line of about 322 (minus Sinn Fein and Speaker from the total, though the exit poll suggests the UUP will hold Fermanagh and South Tyrone from Sinn Féin)
0219 – Reports coming in that Theresa May is running for her life through a wheatfield.
0218 – SNP’s Westmister leader Angus Robertson loses Moray to the Conservatives. Jim Murphy must be cackling at these SNP big dogs having a taste of their own medicine.
0216 – Textbook election night. Kuenssberg indicates that Tory ministers have now given up hoping for an outperforming the exit poll. Speculation about Exit Poll accuracy (including by yours truly) for the wisdom of Curtice.
0208 – Boris Johnson’s odds to be next Conservative leader tumble to 5/1. Do the Tories think having another inadequate leader will work next time?
0203 – Does the BBC realise that Nigel Farage is no longer actually leader of UKIP nor has he ever been elected as a MP?
0202 – Labour gain Battersea on a swing of 10%. Interestingly in that seat, UKIP were outdone by the Socialist Party of Great Britain.
0200 – Tim Farron is apparently in deep trouble in Westmorland and Lonsdale. If he loses, that would the first time a Party leader (of comparable influence) has lost his seat since the Liberals’ Archibald Sinclair in 1945.
0154 – Perhaps a rare sight tonight, Conservatives make a gain from the SNP in Angus.
0152 – Dimbleby lays into Watson over his previous criticism over Corbyn. Who said he was too old for this?
0148 – Is that it Jeremy? Where’s the cowboy outfit?
0145 – Education Secretary Justine Greening holds Putney. She does though with a thin majority of 1500 though.
0140 – That swing in Wales perhaps suggest Labour might do even better than expected in the exit poll…
0140 – Labour gain Vale of Clywd from the Conservatives. Amazingly that’s the first to switch between the two the whole night. So it begins…
0132 – Tom Watson gets cut out! What a shame.
0123 – Tooting count apparently being run by the man from quaker oats.
0113 – Labour make a shock gain of Rutherglen and Hamilton West from the SNP with a swing of 9% from the SNP.
0109 – Labour hold in Wrexham. Exit poll was talking a load of old bollocks about Wales then.
0105 – On the flipside, Nick Clegg seems to be in big danger. He is defending a majority of just 2,000 or so.
0100 – Lib Dems have been pretty quiet so far, but might they be on in David Cameron’s Witney of all places? They did come close in the by-election after all.
0051 – Labour hold Darlington with a massive swing of 0.2% to the Conservatives. Tories definitely wont be getting that big majority of 86. However, does still keep the possibility of a Conservative majority in play.
0041 – Labour definitely enjoying a big surge in London as predicted before, taking the pretty safe seat of Battersea.
0035 – Tories hold Nuneaton, that’s expected, but with a tiny swing to Labour. It seems clear the Tories will be at best winning a small majority tonight.
0032- You’re right Dr. Fox, it’s gonna be a bloody long night for you. Do you think anyone ever confuses him with this guy?
0028 – For Conservative readers, perhaps a sugercoating to the bitter pill, Angus Roberston and perhaps even Alex Salmond could go.
0025 – Wise words from the election guru, Sir David Butler
0016 – Labour MP for Chelsea? Surely not?
0007 – Another swing to the Tories in Sunderland – whatever happens, Sunderland Tories have apparently played a blinder.
0000 – Midnight brings two interesting results, with swings to Labour in Newcastle East and Swindon North. Perhaps the Tory overperformance is confined to just a small area.
2358 – “Sound’s are abysmal, we’re meant to be in 2017 not, 1917!!”. Dimbleby lining up a new career as a stand-up it seems.
2352 – Is Kirsty Wark a former 1990s PGA Tour Pro?
2347 – Sunderland Central result sees a swing of 2.3% to the Conservatives. Again, this is suggesting an increased Tory majority. Interesting to note that Sunderland Central has historically not such a safe Labour seat as the other Sunderland seats.
2340 – Another big question of the evening – will Emily Maitlis eventually dissolve into the Labour vote share charts?
2336 – Exit poll suggesting an absolute massive swing in Wales, around nine points. The electorate have lost the bloody plot.
2333 – Let’s not get too carried away though, as there is lots of chatter about Hastings and Rye falling to Labour. Amber Rudd’s seat is number 42 on the Labour target list. 2017’s Ed Balls’ moment?
2332 – One really suspect bit about the exit poll is Wales. Polls were predicting Labour to do well there, maybe making gains off the Tories. The exit poll was suggesting big gains for the Tories. The logic is that Tories pick up big UKIP and Labour Leavers. That makes sense, but why are the Tories getting hammered in Northern England?
2330 – Aside from 1987 the Exit Poll is normally pretty spot on. Thus far though, the results have been pretty out of step. Houghton and Sunderland South gave a swing to the Tories of 3.5%. That would be a very different result.
2322 – Well what a shocker of an election night. Polls were all suggesting an increased Tory majority, we’re now looking at a Hung Parliament. I predicted an 86 seat majority today and I will stand by that if it lives or dies. What’s the most delicious hat?